Missing Mom

I guess it's not a surprise that when Mom died, this website would go untouched for a while. No one really wants to write about how their lives are carrying on without her, how things just keep going on and changing how those sad times are further and further behind us. Mom's death was a shock, as well as a relief in some ways. She just suffered so much fighting that awful disease. Honestly, the shock is still lingering for many of us.

We haven't had new babies born to us since Mom died, even though we are fostering twin boys and a beautiful 4 year old girl in the family right now. I'd like to suspect that Mom had something to do with this little arrangement,because both families involved really wanted these children, but when it comes with so much heartache and pain, I can't give her the credit for it at all. I don't want to associate this pain with her or coming from her - because she only wants us to be happy here.

At first I didn't need or want to call my mom - you know how they say that when someone dies, we forget and call them up and then remember, "Oh yeah..." I didn't do that for a long time because she couldn't talk to me before she died, or even several months before she died. I had already accepted that that was how it was going to be from now on. But, now that I imagine her whole and happy again, all I want to do is talk to her. I want her to tell me what the heck is going on down here! Come on, Mom! Spill it to me, will you please? :) My pleadings never really work. And it's okay.

I really hope that when I see her again, her hug will be warm. If we are spirit beings when we embrace at our next meeting, will there be warmth? I'm betting there will be. But it will probably be different kind of warmth. And that's very, very exciting!

I adore the woman that is being such a great companion for my dad right now. She is wonderful. I think mom had something to do with this too :)